Almost Witty

About Me

I'm a simple guy who sails the sea of life looking for interesting things.

Blogs I follow:

1. My thoughts on movie trilogies

   For some trilogies, I ignored an upcoming 4th movie because it may be too far away to care about. For some films, only two have been released but we know a third one is coming 100%.

   Great/Classic Trilogies

   • LOTR:  Overall a great trilogy and achievement in the fantasy genre. 
   • Bourne: Can it be called the greatest spy/super agent trilogy ever? Yes. One of the rare instances where each movie was better than the one before it. 
   • Toy Story: Pixar’s only trilogy released. It is great from top to bottom. 
   • Original Star Wars Trilogy: The Ewoks are ridiculous. Let’s look past them. This is the trilogy Lucas made before he got high on paint thinner.
   • Back to the Future: I put this in here because I didn’t want to make a new category for ‘trilogies that are almost great’. The general consensus is that the first film is the best one. And depending on who you ask, either BttF II or III is the weakest. However, I believe none of the films are weak enough to take away from the greatness. 
   • Batman (Nolan version): I am jumping the gun and ignoring rules. How can Batman be considered a trilogy if there have been four movies released prior to the reboot? Because Nolan is making a trilogy, that’s why. He has rebooted the franchise and set his rules and vision that will span three films. Batman Begins was good, if not a little slow, but I can forgive it since it is an Origins film. The Dark Knight is one of the greatest films made. Not the greatest, there are others that are better but it is one of the best. I am trusting Nolan to pull off a good third film. Expectations will be super high after TDK and while I don’t think Batman 3 will reach those same heights, I trust him to at least make a very good film.

    

   2/3: Almost there – Where a trilogy has 1 weak film that is so bad it can’t be overlooked.

   • Spider-man: The third Spider-man film is so bad that it ruined the Spidey franchise to a point that they had to reboot it. Spider-man 3 suffered from awful writing and too many mediocre ideas on film.
   • X-Men: A slightly good pair of movies are ruined by the mess of The Last Stand. Brett Ratner ruins a trilogy. I am ignoring the Wolverine spin off because it sucked bad and I don’t include spin offs.
   • Blade: The only thing good about Blade Trinity was that Jessica Biel looked hot and Ryan Renolds was funny in it.
   • Godfather: This is a cop out. The first two films are so good that by default it should be in the first category. However, the last film has some faults that are hard to overlook. Sofia’s acting was so bad in the third film that it prevented the series from being a great trilogy.
   • Transformers: A third film is on the way. Transformers as a trilogy has no way to go in categories except stay in this one or fall to the one below. Revenge of the Fallen is one of the most awful films filmed. It was overblown in every aspect. 
   • TMNT: Live-action films only. The last one where they go back to the past is downright horrible.
   • Rush Hour: Ratner manages to make two enjoyable films then decided to wait six years to release a tired third film. He ruins another trilogy.
   • Austin Powers: Mike Myers decided the best way to end this trilogy was to include horrible fart/poop jokes and run every previous joke into the ground. Good job.
   • Mariachi: El Mariachi is a decent film. Desperado is a superior sequel. Once Upon A Time in Mexico is a mess. When you watch it you feel like you took a hit of acid.
   • The Mummy: I don’t think anybody was asking for a third film. I’m ignoring The Scorpion King spin off because it was lame. And the CGI of the Scorpion King in The Mummy Returns was god awful. The third film took an enjoyable set of films and ruined it. 
   • Ocean’s Trilogy: The general consensus is that the second film, Ocean’s 12, is the weakest. I didn’t mind it too much. 
   • Men in Black: A third film is on the way. Men in Black II was so bad that there is no way they can screw up a second time to that degree. Let’s say I have faith that Will Smith has learned his lesson.

    

   Not a chance – Two films or the entire trilogy sucks.

   • Prequel Star Wars Trilogy: Jar Jar Binks. Revenge of the Sith is considered the best one of the three but that is like being the best smelling piece of shit. In the end it doesn’t matter.
   • Matrix: Reloaded was bad but you can overlook it and ultimately enjoy it. Revolutions was poison. The double dose of crap that is Reloaded and Revolutions was too much for anybody to withstand.
   • Friday: I don’t think anybody wanted a sequel or two. If it doesn’t have Christ Tucker, what’s the point?
   • Naked Gun: First one is best. 
   • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest and At Worlds End were too long, too overblown and too unfocused. They focused too much on Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley’s characters. They were bland and boring. A fourth film is coming out and it will focus more on the Sparrow character. That gives the film hope.
   • Scream: Scream 2 isn’t horrible but it is unnecessary. Scream 3 is a tragedy. There are talks about making Scream 4. Brace yourself for it sucking.
   • Jurassic Park: The Lost World sucking was a tragedy. Jurassic Park 3 is one of the most tired and awful films ever made. And yet I love dinosaurs so much that if they formally announce Jurassic Park 4, I would get excited.
   • Ice Age: A fourth movie should be coming out. All of these movies suck. They were wise to include dinosaurs in the third film because it made a shit load of money.

    

   Went Beyond the Trilogy

   • Indiana Jones: Had Indiana Jones 4 never came out the first three films would be vaulted into the first category. That is how good Raiders, Temple and Crusades are. I don’t have major qualms against Skull. It had some flaws that are big to ignore but I don’t mind the setting of the film. Indy 5 is being made and I am excited for it. 
   • Shrek: Shrek got tired in the third film. They decided to release a fourth film to show us how tired the franchise is. Spin offs are coming but aside from the first two Shrek films everything else is mediocre and bland. Hell, the first two films are not even great. Just good.
   • Resident Evil: I don’t like these films. I think they fumbled a good opportunity to release some quality horror films. I can’t take anyone serious who considers these movies to be good. Sorry, I just can’t.
   • Die Hard: Die Hard 1 was great. Die Hard 2 was weak. Die Hard 3 was good. Die Hard 4 had some flaws but it was a fun film. Die Hard 5 should be good. Or maybe it will suck. 
   • Fast & The Furious: I don’t like these films. Moving on.
   • Terminator: First two films are classic. The third film is kind of boring. The action pieces are so generic and slow moving it is like watching old people fight. Terminator Salvation isn’t as horrible as people think. The franchise failed due to some crap directors taking helm after Cameron.
   • Lethal Weapon: It was consistent series. The movies didn’t have extreme highs or lows. They are wither very good, to good, to decent. 
   • Scary Movie: Everything after the first movie should be ignored. That includes those spin offs: Epic Movie, Date Movie, Movie Movie. All of them.

    

   Undecided:

   • Mighty Ducks: I don’t remember enough of these films to know if they turned out decent or not.
   • Mission Impossible: I need to re-watch these for the same reason. I just don’t remember if any sucked or which one sucked the most.
   • Disney films that get DVD sequels: Sorry no Aladdin or Lion King or other stuff.
   • The Vengeance Trilogy: I have only seen Oldboy. I have not gotten the chance to watch Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance and by Sympathy for Lady Vengeance. Some consider the latter to be superior to Oldboy but we shall see.

   I ignored a lot of film trilogies. I also was inconsistent in selecting films but who cares. I also make a lot of mistakes in the writing so try to overlook that.